School issues again.

had a bit of an argument with my mum today regarding applying for scholarships and school. i got a little frustrated trying to talk myself out of the situation, but eventually my excuses ran out.

while i have my reasons for not yet applying for scholarships, it's mostly been inertia on my part. i've not been making any effort at all these past few weeks (and months) to think about the issue of school seriously. even though work has slowed down quite a bit for these few weeks, i've been wiling my time away by playing games and just plain dilly-dallying.

of course playing games is not the only thing that's been devouring my time, and i've been trying to get quiet time back into my daily schedule so that i can live my life in a way that's glorifying to Him. but still really a very considerably large proportion of my time has been spent on playing games and generally just doing nothing much.

the past few weeks, i've been attending this leadership programme that the Heartbeat core team has come up with, called 'Fan into Flame'. It's been pretty good so far, and it's challenged me to take a different stance towards my walk with God and my daily decisions i make. in order to live my life in a manner pleasing to Him, i have to walk in His ways and follow His commands. i need to surrender my decisions to Him, including that of where i study, what i'll do after i ord, and so on. but of course in order for me to surrender my decisions to Him it requires me to come to Him daily and to be still before Him.

seems the school issue is sort of a faith issue too.